bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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