eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
