Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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