I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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