My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
