Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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