sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
