i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
