Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
