I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
