i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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