if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
