I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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