In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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