***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
