u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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