Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
