this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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