she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize