Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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