There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
