Do you still have your period?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You can't motorboat a personality
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
