Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
