I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
