i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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