did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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