I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
