if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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