if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You are a genius and a whore.
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