and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
