btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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