i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
