Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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