Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i dont even know how to be here
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize