Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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