people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
