I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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