The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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