Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
