we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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