dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
