that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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