I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
