i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
