How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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