you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
