What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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