How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
