I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We need to get me chipped asap
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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