Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We named our party play list daddy issues
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
