Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
