so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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