i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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