my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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