dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize