ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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