Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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