Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You may now shotgun with the bride
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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