I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
